Friday, October 15, 2004

A Visitor's Guide to Driving in St. Louis, Missouri

I stole this from the same dude at the Forums, who stole it from somewhere else...

The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00 am. The
evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

Gravois Road can only be pronounced by a native.

Construction on highway 40, 70, 270, 44, 55 and I-170 is a way of life, and a permanent form of entertainment.

A St. Louisan from South County has never been to North County and visa versa. West County has everything delivered.

If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect, or has been on for the last 17 miles.

There are 2 exits on Highway 40 for Clayton Road and 2 for Big Bend.

All old ladies with blue hair in Cadillacs (driving on Olive west of 270) have the right of way.

Laclede Station Road mysteriously changes names as you cross intersections. As do McCausland, Lindbergh, Watson, Fee Fee, Airport Road and Midland, Olive Street Rd., Clarkson Rd. and many, many more!

You can go all four directions on Highway 270: North and South in West County, East and West in South County, and East and West in North County. Confused? So are the St. Louis drivers.

Lindbergh runs from South County to North County. Lindbergh belongs to every neighborhood except Kirkwood, who had the nerve to change the name to
"Kirkwood Road" in a childish fit of temper during WW II because Charles Lindbergh said that Adolf H. had an airforce.

Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says,"Keep honking, I'm reloading"- he is.

Any car parked longer than 4 hours in the city, is considered a parts store.

Highway 270 is our daily version of the NASCAR circuit.

YIELD signs are for decoration only. No native St. Louisan will ever grasp the concept.

If it snows or rains? Stay home.

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